skip to my lou: rambles on the AT

train rides and construction sites

2006-10-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

thankfully, for me, the adventure does not end at the last white blaze. and, hopefully, it never will, for me or for anyone. after a car ride with a beautiful widow to portland maine, a bus ride to the apple of my eye new york city and an overnight with two savvy new yorkers turned AT thru-hikers, i found myself on a train headed to charlottesville, va where two of the most beautiful people on this earth agreed to come retrieve me and carry me with them in his little red honda back to a warm home in harrisonburg. the train ride was the first time i had been truly alone in months; unable to walk somewhere and find someone i know, unable to plan where i was going the next day and without a defined goal. i felt freer, somehow, but mostly just sad.

but, after a week in harrisonburg, a city which i have concluded is one of the most beautiful in the world....there is so much good going on there, so much about to happen, so much happening now, so much to be involved in and so much that needs attention....harrisonburgers, do you know that? if you don't, go out and explore. there's a lot going on there, and i'm tempted to stay and get invovled in the birth of something truly beautiful. but we shall see. i tried sleeping somewhere different every night and, thanks to the people who care about me despite myself, that was almost possible. having a house, even though it may not be yours, is a blessing indeed. thank you guys :)

anyway, i am now home, or at least in the place in which all my material crap resides and so do the most important people int he world, my dad and his new wife (!!!) Liz. i can't say it feels good to be here, but it certainly doesn't feel as bad as i thought it would. our house, the big one that i lived in during high school, is being remodeled by Dad and liz and, so, the entire downstairs has been reduced to walls and dust-covered floor. they're tearing out walls and creating new ones, taking a house that was nice enough and turning it into a home. i'm excited for the end result, but the fact that i'm now living in the upstairs of a construction site without heat or hot water is rather strange. though, i can just shut the door, turn on my music and drown out the hairy men pounding with their hammers and pretned that nothing has changed. its kind of like my own little hideaway, and i, actually, rather like it. besides, i have enough boxes of random stuff up here that needs attention to keep me busy for months.

it doesnt feel like its over....but, surprisingly, it doesnt feel as much as i thought it would at all. it doesn't feel so strange to be using electricity, or to poop in a toilet...it all feels like a dream. i think, though, that the strange position of my home is adding an element that makes reality of normal life not seem so overwhelming and terrifying...nothing is the same for me, and i returned to a different life, one that changed along with me. and that was important. what's next, i wonder? my mom is coming here from the new mexican land soon, and i'm headed to her new trailer and new darkroom in the bathroom to develop my film from the adventure. maybe that will make it real. we'll see.

:) i love you

where the blazes end

2006-10-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

i officially summited katahdin wednesday, october 11th, 2006 at 11:30 am. it was frigid, completely fogged in, and 50 mph wind gusts, and there were 14 thru-hikers at the top, surrounding the sign and collasping upon it, crying their eyes out and hugging one another, staring blankly at the one place they had been aiming for throughout the last 6 months of their life and trying to comprehend what had just happened and what was going to happen next. i guess it was one of those moments that will never leave you.

heres a photo of me, sarah (prana) and don (IROC) on the top, holding a sign for our two other best friends who had to leave the trail. i'm in the blue. :)

whatttt

2006-10-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

hey there hi there ho there

well, here i am, monson, maine. this is the last trail town, well, ever. we have 114 miles to go before Kahtahdin, 100 of which are the famed "100 mile wilderness," which means we go that far without seeing any towns, roads or cars, hopefully. feels like a fitting end to this adventure but seems strange to be ending what has become my life. hard to say where i, and everyone, will go from here, but i suppose that's always the question, ay?

a final quote about this trip:

"I mean, how many adults do you know how get to have sleepovers with all of their best friends in the world every night of the week?"
--Breeze

2006-09-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

so the other day i was walking around in the woods, and suddenly i come across this silly little blue sign that says very plainly, "welcome to maine" and suddenly i realized that, somehow, most likely through a series of random mistakes and good fortune, i have somehow managed to walk from the state of georgia to the state of maine. and i wanted to jump around and scream and cry, but i mostly just sat there, staring blankly at that unassuming sign, and then it started to rain so i moved on to the shelter, and then, for the next three days of hiking, everyone around me has been caught up in the sheer ridiculous fact that, hell yes, we're in MAINE!!!! it seems to pop out of people's mouth's at the most unexpected times, and it can make any situation, including this morning's hike up the sheer, exposed face of rock that constitutes old speck mountain in the 60-70 mph wind gusts and the ice all over the surrounding plants and the fact that an exposed strand of my hair froze, seem even more amazing because, son of a gun, it was a mountain in maine.

and now i sit here in a hostel in andover, and prana and tu-tone are watching a movie and sitting on the couch, and its 20 degrees outside but 60 in here, and i'm eating birthday cake flavored ice cream and i'm still in maine but in a totally different way. its a very strange feeling. for 5 months now, random people will ask me, "where are you headed?," and i'd respond, "maine," like its somehow achieveable, and i've had that same, ridiculous response even since georgia, where maine was about as attainable as the moon, and here we are. whew.

i've been doing well, got pretty sick before gorham, new hampshire and had to take an extended rest but, apparently, i'm all healed up now. it seems that 5 months of hiking can make one exceptionally tired and drained of the ability to do anything at all. funny how it works like that. tomorrow we're going to do some slack-packing (where we get to be dropped off somewhere, hike all day without our packs and just water and snacks and stuff, and then get picked up again at the end of the day) and hopefully we'll keep trucking through maine until the end. we have until october 15th and we have 270-something miles to go. strangely enough, i think we'll make it by at least the 10th, but we'll just have to see. looking forward to real life again, i think, but its strange to see the end of this life coming so quickly. i'm not sure how i'm going to make the transition...it may prove more of a challenge than the trail itself.

wishing you sunny skies and happy feet :)
good luck with those tests and exams and things i can't understand, haha.

2006-08-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

HELLOOOOO

did you all think i quit the trail? does anyone even read this anymore?

well, either way, i have not quit. in fact, i have walked all the way to vermont and will be in new hampshire in less than a week. vermont, new hampshire and maine are the last three states....have done 1,600 miles and have only 530 to go. wow.

as far as trail life goes...it has been a mix of wonder, frustration, amazement and boredom all at once ,like usual. felt revived by a night in a firetower....slept 50 feet above the earth on the highest peak in southern vermont...arose to a 360 degree panorama of vermont sunrise. have finally met up with people again after a long time hiking solo...a bunch of us are in this town and we are all excited to get to maine.

as far as after the hike goes (it will be over before i know it), i would love to know where everyone will be come mid-october and i would love to see a bunch of you beautiful folk if that's possible. let me know.

okay, gotta share this computer.
just wanted to let you know i'm still walking.
i love you

2006-07-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

does anybody even realize what this all entails?

i think that's one of the strangest things about this blog, about this trip, about life and our interactions...as much as i write, as much as you read, as much as we talk, we will never know wholly what each other is experiencing. its such a strange thing to travel through all of this world alone in our journeys, yet to realize that, at least to the extent to which we can, we are together. does that make any sense? each moment is experienced as an individual; each life lead as a single; yet, somehow, on the grand scheme of things, i think, we're one. maybe? maybe this is heat-induced ramble. but, what i'm saying is, you probably don't know anything about what i'm doing, and i probably don't know anything about what you're doing, and i wonder if you wonder. so, as prompted by a recent request from my dad, here is some basic, bread and butter information. the questions that everybody wants to ask. the questions i hate to answer. the basics.

each day, i wake up around 7 and get ready to move. sometimes i sleep in a shelter, but lately i've been tenting because the mosquitos are horrendous in the lovely state of PA.

for breakfast i usually eat two packets of oatmeal and drink 32 ounces of water.

my pack weighs (i'm totally guessing on this) somewhere between 30-40 pounds. i believe i must have started with around 70 pounds.

i started the 16th of april, and i hope to finish before the end of september.

i would say i average around 18 miles a day, buts its really kind of hard to say. we've done 3 mile days, we've done 30 mile days.

things i eat on the trail....cliff bars, power bars, basically anything ending in the word "bar," dehydrated fruit, tortillas, oatmeal, pasta dishes for dinner...nothing too excitng and nothing too delicious.

lately i've been hiking at a pretty steady pace of 3 miles an hour. i can hike faster, and often do, and with this ability has come the confidence to know that i can laze around for most of the day and still get some decent miles in eventually. some say we hike fast so that we have longer to sit around :)

i have not seen a bear. everyone i know, however, has seen at least two. i have seen a skunk and approximatley 16,000 chipmunks, though.

i have not seen a rattlesnake.

i have not seen a unicorn (yet)

since harper's ferry, an amazing amount of hikers have shown up. for the last couple of weeks i have met at least one new thru-hiker a day. this place, duncannon, is one of the last places for us to all meet up, so its guaranteed that, from here, we will see less people as the bubble spreads out once again.

i carry an osprey pack, vasque boots, an alcohol stove, a 45 degree marmot sleeping bag liner, an MSR PCT tent...

i bought some new hiking shorts yesterday. they're hot pink.

no, i don't filter water. yes, i drink water directly from creeks and streams. yes, its dangerous and yes, i'm one of the only people that doesn't use some kind of water purification system. i'm insane, what can i say.

it has been insanely hot lately. 102 degrees yesterday. we didn't hike.

god, i'm boring myself, but it has been striking me recently how little people actually know about what it is that i'm actually doing, besides just wandering around in the woods like the lost nomad that i am.

okay, i'm peacing out.

i love you.
that's right.
you.

1000 miles

2006-07-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

mmm quick post...just wanted to say i've made it 1,000 miles on this crazy trail. or, actually, now its 1009.8, as i have walked to harper's ferry, wv.

goodbye, va.

onward, north we walk.

one score years ago...

2006-06-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

best. birthday. ever.

well, folks, twenty years have passed. and, although it has been a very random few days, i must say it has been celebrated in a way that i believe will be quite challenging to beat.

it all began last night....camped alone for the first time. had the most random day yet on the trail; meaning i hiked over 20 miles, only 4.6 of which were actually on the AT. put that in your pipe and smoke it. but, anyway, this story has a beautiful ending. was hiking along, down the blue ridge parkway, and a small girl in a small car pulls over and yells out the window, "are you a thru-hiker?" i said, "yes!" and she proceeded to leap out of her car and lift the trunk to reveal, through the magical sparkles of happiness, a cooler full of whole foods products, of which she unloaded on me fresh strawberries, a whole mango, all-natural orange creme soda and organic blueberries. i shoved them in my pack for later and hiked onward....it was getting dark and i was getting tired and cranky...found a tiny sign pointing to the left promising "overlook, 200 yds," and followed it in hopes of a campsite, nothing more. found instead a haven...the perfect place.

picture this...a rock overhang facing westward, the whole western world spread out before your eyes. the sun is setting, the sky ignited in reds and oranges, the sun a ball of fire sinking slowly below horizon. its just you, alone on top of the world, its the day before your 20th birthday and suddenly you find yourself with everything you could ever need, in the only place you could ever hope to be. and then, just when you think its really getting good, you realize not only do you have the beautiful place and the beautiful moment, you have fresh mango and all-natural orange creme soda, you have a oatmeal chocolate chip cookie from the little grill, you have bob dylan on the i-pod and you have nothing to do but sit there and enjoy it all until the lights of the far off city twinkle at midnight.

yeah, it was a good moment.

then, today. hiked 17 miles into waynesboro...got to talk to my mom on the phone for an hour (she's nuts)...hitched into town and did some annoying hiker chores until MAURY LYNN HOWELL arrived for a visit. ate pancakes then went to kroger. at kroger, i purchased:

1 16-pack crayola crayons
1 disney princess coloring book
1 pack 24-assorted small plastic dinosaurs
1 pink, sparkly my little pony with green hair named "bunches-o-fun"

yes, i'm twenty. no longer a child.

now i reside at the free hostel in waynesboro...grace lutheran church. i'm surrounded by happy hikers and church volunteers who just filled their bellies with birthday cake and ice cream provided by maury...they're playing with their plastic dinosaur party favors and we're going to watch death to smoochy.

oh. my. god. they have cinnimon toast crunch here.
yes, sir. going to be a hard birthday to beat.

onward and upward. into shenandoah national park tomorrow...back to harrisonburg for a nother LGC visit and to see some importantly beautiful folk soon. i love you.

"look around you to the people you see
how many of them are happy and free?"

home again?

2006-06-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

hello all...i type this post from the eggplant colored couch in my very own living room in radford, va. i have been home for about three days now...has been a very surreal time. as i was coming across the grayson highlands i was attacked by a very rare breed of ankle-tendon-eating pony and it did exactly as its name implied and ate the tendon on the front of my ankle, a grevious injury that left me no choice but to continue to hike like an idiot for another 48 miles, yes that's 48 miles, until i became largely incapacitated and had to hitch to the nearest town. since i was so near home i decided to come home to recover...will hike out tomorrow morning.

my smelly hiker friends have joined me here in radford since yesterday; they took a zero day today and have since deemed dad's house "miss becka's hostel." we are currently sitting all around the living room....just put my new hendrix album into the DVD player and "red house" is filling the room with guitar-infused luxury...the floor is littered with wal-mart bags full of tortillas and instant oatmeal packets, stove fuel and duct tape, the products of our late night wal-mart resupply run. stephanie has been hanging out with us for the last two nights...she fits right in with the hikers, besides the fact she is wearing deoderant and has been showering with predictable frequency. it is beautiful to see her. i apologize to anyone else who is in the area....it has been a crazy last couple of days, as strange as that sounds, and i haven't had a chance to attempt to catch up with many.

i understand that, apparently, my birthday is coming up sometime this month and, apparently, some people are interested in mailing me something or another (i prefer cash). i want to be able to make a prediction about my whereabouts during that time...but i just swear to god i have no idea where i'm going to be. i'm such a horrible planner. how about this...if you really find it necessary to send me something, just send it to dad's house unless i post something in a few days with a more defined plan. i still feel like i'm just wandering around in the woods with some crap in a bag on my back...i have yet to become a stream-lined, cool hiker who knows what's what. somehow i doubt i ever will. dad's address is:

2308 8th street
radford, va 24141

the surround sound of the television speakers is intoxicating. these people are intoxicating. this life is intoxicating. but you know all of that. i hope this update finds you happy and at peace with your surroundings. i reccomend a walk in the woods to cure your any pain you may have, or just to discover your soul, because i know those can get lost sometimes.

i love you so much

CONSIDERING THIS NEW TRAIL NAME!
--tomato gravy

where your feet fall

2006-05-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

there is a sect of humanity that many do not realize; there is a group of people who call each place they set their foot home, each person family, each day a miracle and each moment to be lived. there is a sect who will party late into the night, dancing wildly around bonfires and drinking moonshine from mason jars, twirling fire and singing as loud as their voices will carry, feeling their naked feet sink into the mud and not caring about their dirty hair and bodies as long as their heart and souls are flying free. there is a sect who can party for four days and still be respectful, there are those who, even when in a drunken stupor, remember to clean up their trash and care for their environment. there are those who love unconditionally and will do anything for one another, the most beautiful people you have ever seen. these people are the ones i have grown to love and know, the wanderers and nomads of the world, the gypsies and the outcasts, the weirdos and the seemingly normal. they see the world and want to be in it, they know the earth and have traveled as far as their legs can take them. they greet fear with love and life with passion. i do believe, my friends, that this is home.

trail days '06 was incredible....i am now back at miss janet's house in erwin, tenneessee doing some "decompression" time. headed back out to the trail today, accidentally left my cell phone with my dad (got to see my dad and liz and guinan! yayyyY!!!!!) so i won't be able to check that for a while....will be in virginia soon, hope to update this with more details if you're interested in coming to hike with me for a couple oif days.!!! that would rock my world.

i lov eyou.

the journey is the destination

2006-05-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

there isn't enough time to say everything i need and want to say...each moment and each day is a novel in itself. as the librarian taps me on the shoulder and reminds me i have 2 minutes left to type i can't think of anything appropriate to transfer the last few weeks to you guys....just imagine all these words together and maybe you can picture what i've been doing...

mountain balds
bongos
asheville
fire dances
dredlocks
hail storms
free donuts
trail days
wet boots
stars at night
tent blown onto your face
blueberry pancakes
tiaras
muddy feet
guitar

....does that work?

i love you.

washing machines and john lennon

2006-05-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

this is a quick post....sitting in a wooden shack with a washer and dryer and an old computer....the sounds of john lennon through the speakers and the rumble of the washer are mixing with the laughter outside. it is a beautiful day, not to be said that everyday is not, but today the sky seems particularly blue. yesterday it rained so hard the trail transformed into a small river and everything on everybody was completely soaked. fortunately, my affinity for splashing in puddles and laughing like a 5-year-old all the way down the 7-mile mountain saved my spirit.

i am now at a hostel in davenport gap, north carolina. or tennessee? not sure. the states are kind of interchangeable. we just finished smoky mountains national park...effectively kicked its ass, actually. made it through the whole park in 3 1/2 days. holler! one 16 mile day followed by a 24 then followed by a 21 in a monsoon. we're taking a break. don ate two 1/2 pound cheeseburgers today. i had pancakes :)

last night my friends thought it would be a cool idea to play around with an electric razor...don ended up shaving the AT symbol into his back hair, adam destroyed his nice curls and shaved the AT symbol into his head and chad is now donning a super sweet mohawk. we all look totally insanely hardcore awesome!

things that make hikers laugh: farting, redneck jokes, running through puddles, farting, cussing, bright stars, running down big 'ol hill with your pack on and your arms flailing around, farting and using the adjective "plumb" to describe everything you possibly can.

this post is random. i apologize. i miss you. i love yoU! here comes summer summer time!

Open up your eyes and see the beauty over there
open up your ears and be surprised by what you hear
cause its not just on the radio
its not just on the video
it isn't all downloadable
there's music everywhere

dirty, sweaty, stinky beauty

2006-04-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

beautiful people everyone!

hi :)

typing this from haven's budget motel in franklin, north carolina....100 miles and 1 state down....2,076 miles and 13 states to go. as every moment passes i become more and more convinced that this is something i can, perhaps, actually do. it has only been a week and a half, but i am coming along nicely on my walkabout.

i can't type much...and i apologize that these posts are so sparce. i must admit, even after a week, it feels weird and stupid to be spending time in front of a computer when i could be outside in the glorious NC nighttime heat, laying on the sidewalk in front of the hotel rooms talking to a group of friends i have just made and feel closer to than i ever have with anyone before. strange, i know.

the woods are beautiful. sometimes i can hardly believe it. my friend sarah started crying the other day when we topped Albert mountain---our first 5,000 footer---and, i must say, our tears were common. the view was insane. it was a strange moment--for the first time i was looking out at something so much huger than me, so much more important, so much grander and so overwhelming, and, this time, i didn't feel insignificant. i didn't feel lost and i didn't feel pointless; as i stood atop the mountain with a group of strangers bonded together by a common drive to do something extraordinary, as i felt the dirt and grime on my legs, the sweat on my back and bruises on my hips, as i realized i'd been wearign the same outfit for four days in a row and i'd forgotten to brush my teeth for two, as i was aware of all these things and all this beauty all at once, i looked out at the world and felt, for the first time, as if i was truly part of something.

guys, i love you. and i miss you. and i will see you soon. you should take a walk somewhere. apparently, its good for your soul.

oh, my gosh, thank you all so much for the messages/comments! you don't know how much they mean to me....i wish i could write yoyu all individually....i wish i could hug you all...i love you. thank you.

wishing you happiness,
beck

"i look out over the mountains and i feel....full"
--Sarge, 3 time AT thru-hiker

'allo lovelies

2006-04-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

the pool table is covered with socks, tents, mosquito coils, soap, rain gear, soy protein, fleece, wool, medical supplies, sleeping bags, insect repellent, matches, stoves, notebooks, pens, books, pots and pans and forks and knives, ponies!!!! (not really), headlamps, t-shirts, pocketknives, clif bars, rope, cell phones, underwear, zip-loc bag, compasses and every kind of food you can think of, as long as its dehydrated, and i suppose i'm ready for a walk in the wilderness. and, as much as purchasing and trying to choose all these supplies nearly killed me (i'm a terrible planner) and did not leave me devoid of a few irrational mental breakdowns (those i'm good at), the beauty and sheer wonder of what i'm attempting to do have not escaped me. i am so lucky. so excited. so terrified. here i go, walking away from it all. walking to find myself, walking to lose myself, walking just to walk. walking in the rain, in the sun, and in the snow? i don't know. just walking.

tomorrow, dad will take me to georgia and sunday i'll stride valiantly off into the wilderness, hoping to end up six months and two thousand miles later on top of a mountain in maine. i would say what mountain but, alas, i don't know how to spell it. ah yes, i'm prepared for this.

its going to be funny, i can feel it. i'm relatively unfamiliar with my gear (i nearly cut my trip very short in a flaming ball of fire today when i attempted to light the stove), i don't know how to pack my pack, i've put up my tent twice, i'm out of shape and, most dreadfully, i know nothing about bear wrasslin'. i've decided to view all of these things with a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my lips. you can either freak out about it, or you can laugh about it and, since i've already done the freaking out, i guess i've only got one more option. so, haha! i don't know what i'm doing and i haven't done all the planning and i might have to live off of fruit leather for days at a time and i might be a little cold and i might trip and fall down and my pack might be lopsided but, damnit, i'm gonna love it. every single minute. this is going to be the hugest learning experience of my life--every step of the way. i'm taking it a day at a time, the end of the trail is not the goal, the next step ahead is. i'm so lucky to have this opportunity--so lucky--and i'd be a dumb shit not to at least try to enjoy every second of it. i have a lot of healing to do and a lot of learning to do and a lot of changing to do and a lot of, well, walking to do. maybe i'll find my soul out there.

so, onward, say i. onward.

i'll try to update this blog as often as i can---hopefully at least a couple people will read it. i'm convinced there's at least one person out there who would appreciate validation that, yes, indeed, becka is still living. i don't know yet what the computer status will be on the trail---no, steph, there aren't internet cafes beside every shelter on the trail :)--but i'll write something whenever i can. please call, i'll have my phone adn will check messages as often as possible too. i like being alone, obviously, no one who thrives off social interation would willingly wander off into the woods by themselves unless they had a drastic mental breakdown, but i like knowing that i'm loved, too. everyone does, really. that is, i suppose, what it's all about.

so, until future notice, adieu, i wish you sparkles and sunshine and puppies and love and happiness.

p.s. tomorrow i'm eating cake for breakfast.