train rides and construction sites

thankfully, for me, the adventure does not end at the last white blaze. and, hopefully, it never will, for me or for anyone. after a car ride with a beautiful widow to portland maine, a bus ride to the apple of my eye new york city and an overnight with two savvy new yorkers turned AT thru-hikers, i found myself on a train headed to charlottesville, va where two of the most beautiful people on this earth agreed to come retrieve me and carry me with them in his little red honda back to a warm home in harrisonburg. the train ride was the first time i had been truly alone in months; unable to walk somewhere and find someone i know, unable to plan where i was going the next day and without a defined goal. i felt freer, somehow, but mostly just sad.

but, after a week in harrisonburg, a city which i have concluded is one of the most beautiful in the world....there is so much good going on there, so much about to happen, so much happening now, so much to be involved in and so much that needs attention....harrisonburgers, do you know that? if you don't, go out and explore. there's a lot going on there, and i'm tempted to stay and get invovled in the birth of something truly beautiful. but we shall see. i tried sleeping somewhere different every night and, thanks to the people who care about me despite myself, that was almost possible. having a house, even though it may not be yours, is a blessing indeed. thank you guys :)

anyway, i am now home, or at least in the place in which all my material crap resides and so do the most important people int he world, my dad and his new wife (!!!) Liz. i can't say it feels good to be here, but it certainly doesn't feel as bad as i thought it would. our house, the big one that i lived in during high school, is being remodeled by Dad and liz and, so, the entire downstairs has been reduced to walls and dust-covered floor. they're tearing out walls and creating new ones, taking a house that was nice enough and turning it into a home. i'm excited for the end result, but the fact that i'm now living in the upstairs of a construction site without heat or hot water is rather strange. though, i can just shut the door, turn on my music and drown out the hairy men pounding with their hammers and pretned that nothing has changed. its kind of like my own little hideaway, and i, actually, rather like it. besides, i have enough boxes of random stuff up here that needs attention to keep me busy for months.

it doesnt feel like its over....but, surprisingly, it doesnt feel as much as i thought it would at all. it doesn't feel so strange to be using electricity, or to poop in a toilet...it all feels like a dream. i think, though, that the strange position of my home is adding an element that makes reality of normal life not seem so overwhelming and terrifying...nothing is the same for me, and i returned to a different life, one that changed along with me. and that was important. what's next, i wonder? my mom is coming here from the new mexican land soon, and i'm headed to her new trailer and new darkroom in the bathroom to develop my film from the adventure. maybe that will make it real. we'll see.

:) i love you